improving your thesis statement

FIRST TRY:

The doctor is very interesting and suspicious person.  He was being inappropriate, but polite, then he was rude and frustrated.  In the "Use of Force", the doctor struggles with a poor family to diagnose their daughter who suffers a fatal ailment which might be diphtheria



SECOND TRY:
Improve by editing and combining:

While both interesting and suspicious, the doctor changes from a polite man struggling to help a poor family as he attempts to see if she has a fatal disease into a frustrated, then rude, then dangerously violent man.